Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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