I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Randomize
