considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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