Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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