All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
