What's everyones problem with my costume?!
It looks like a unicorn came on your face.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Randomize
