We're like a lot better than the average bears
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
