I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
