Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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