Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
he said we should drink responsibly and we all just kinda sat there laughing at him
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?