i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
Keanu Reeves Photobombed A Couple’s Wedding Photos As A Perfect Gift
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
29 Married People Share What They Used To Find Cute About Their SO—But Now Find Infuriating
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.