So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
