Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
