He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Randomize
