Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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