I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Randomize
