I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
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It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
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Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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