TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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