made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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