My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
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