So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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