Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
