and she was petting her beer can
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need you to perform a face transplant. Please remove your face from your accounting book and relocate it to where it's most needed - between my legs.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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