Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
