They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
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