Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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