I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
You took a bar mat shot.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
Randomize
