i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
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