If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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