i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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