I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
My bed smells like the plague
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
