i just wanna soil my oats bro
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Boobs speak an international language.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
