Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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