My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
