wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
