I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
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