life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
