me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
