scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
I would fuck him just for his dog
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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