walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
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