She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Randomize
