this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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