Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
Randomize