I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
