Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
