they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
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Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
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For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
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