How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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