I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
