oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Found your dick twin last night
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Pretty sure the delivery guy saw me taking a shit this morning
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