Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Randomize
