I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
