i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
