Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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