How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
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Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
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We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
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