the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
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That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
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Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
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