i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
