when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
