I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
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