sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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