is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
