watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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