he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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