No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Randomize
