Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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