i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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