If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Not gonna lie: had to look up how to spell fellatio. Not sure I spelled it right even now. Looks like a Shakespearean character. ENTER FELLATIO, SOLILOQUIZING.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
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