PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Randomize
